Did I really sign up for this?

Have you ever had one of those days? Ya know, when you feel like you arent living the life you signed up for? Like Heavenly Father mixed up your life with someone elses? Well, I have had one of those weeks. One of those weeks where nothing goes right, the world feels like it is falling apart around me, where i'm really wondering my purpose in life. I mean, did I really sign up to be a prescription drug addict, 29 and divorced with no kids? (Dont get me wrong, I have a WONDERFUL family, a cute townhouse, and a very good job. I dont want to seem ungrateful, but I just need to vent for a minute).
I have really struggled with talking about my addiction on this blog. But, this is something I struggle with CONSTANTLY. This is a daily struggle for me. I have struggled with what those people who dont know this side of me will think, if this knowledge will change their opionion towards me as a person. But, this is me. I am still the same Jami, and if someone wants to judge me, maybe they should here my story before they are so quick to judge. So, here it is.
Hi, I'm Jami and I'm an addict. There, I said it.
So, I have really been struggling with why I have to go through this..Ya know, a pitty thing on "why me?" I grew up as a good kid, no drinking, drugs, active in the church with a strong testimony. I was married in the temple and was "destined for greatness!". Well, what happened? I guess life happened. The whole "satan will do whatever he can to turn you away" took over. Why did I let this happen? I look at myself now and I realize I am not who Heavenly Father wants me to be. I am working on it. I am trying daily. Some times I take one or two steps forward, and some days one or two steps back. But I am still a daughter of God, and most importantly, I am STILL destined for greatness!
So, why did I decide to say something? Because we arent meant to struggle through life alone. We arent meant to suffer in silence. Also, there are so many addicts (there are many things to be addicted to besides drugs) who feel isolated and dont know where to turn. Also, because I have never felt comfortable talking about how I feel or explaining myself to those closest to me. Those who have been struggling through this addiction with me. So, here I am. I could say so much more of what I am feeling right now, but that will come later. For now, I have taken the step of admitting my addicition to those who may not know Jami as an addict. I have come to realize I need to be open with my struggles and problems. I cant just keep it in and act like everything is ok any longer. I am not a WeAk person (contrary to what other's may think). I am strong and I can do this. So, just for today I will stay clean and realize my worth in this life...I do have a purpose. I may not realize what it is yet, but I do. (Please, if you have questions just ask. I am open and would rather answer questions than have people assume) Thanks for letting me vent...and sorry but this subject will probably come up often.