i HATE cats!

Cat lovers, use caution while reading!
Here is a funny story you may get a laugh from, but I am putting it on here so I can remember it.
I am very allergic to cats. I even have a hard time breathing if I touch a cat. So, the other day I was minding my own business and I opened my front door. It was open for literally 5 seconds and I see a blur out of the corner of my eye. I looked over by the end table and there was a cat. It was a gorgeous orange and white cat with light blue eyes. (At the time I didnt stop to notice how pretty it was, but I realized it after)
Now, I moved into my townhouse in August. We have always had stray cats around, which I have never had a problem with because they didnt bother me. They would sit under my car sometimes, but that was about it. I did notice one of my neighbors had been leaving food out for them on the porch.
K, moving on. So, I see the cat staring at me and I just about lost it. I was in a predicament. I had to get the cat out of my house without touching it. First I tried to scare the cat so I ran up to it and yelled at it. It just ran down the hall. So, I chased it down the hall. (The whole time I was screaming, "get out of my house". I'm sure my neighbors were wondering what was going on). It went through the kitchen and went back to the hallway, where it sat. So (cat lovers stop reading here) I kicked it. Yes, I kicked the cat. Right in the butt. Still didnt work. That stupid cat just hissed at me. (Luckily I had shoes on that he wouldnt be able to bite through. That was all i needed, to be bitten by a stray cat)! It hissed and then laid down. So i kicked it again. He started running back down the hall, toward the door. YEA! But, he turned right and ended up right back where we started. Well, this little game continued for, I dont know how long. I tried scooting him with my foot, he hid under my end table so I started poking him with something so he couldnt bite me. He then went and SAT ON my coffee table. The whole time I was screaming, kicking, hitting, acting like a wild woman (I tell you what, if anyone ever breaks into my house while I'm there, watch out!) Just when I was ready to call 911 (not really, but it did cross my mind) it finally ran out the door.
So now, I have had to clean and vacuum my house like six times. I will vacuum it again today because I am paranoid about cat hair. Its nasty! I am also paranoid to open the door. Now, before I leave my house I listen through the door to see if I hear "meowing". When I come home, I look all around to make sure the cats aren't around. I think I am going to make a phone call to the animal shelter, the last thing I need is little kittens running around with the cats. So now, when people ask what I am afraid of, it will be sharks and stray cats. (I will try to get a picture of the cat so you can see, i didnt think to get the camera out during the chase). Now, don't you see why I hate cats?